Friday, May 9, 2008

HUNGNAPPED!


Dearest friends and loyal readers,
I apologize for the delay in posting- The entire Doodletown has been turning itself inside-out, searching for the lost Hung. Part of the delay was held back by the Doodletown PD, wanting to keep the entire Hungnapping hush-hush until all possible leads could be investigated.
The police have since allowed me to post part of the ransom note, that was sent to The Doodletown Daily Print News & Advertiser. The uncensored parts read as follows:
"...cannot allow such a devastation to exist further in the field of entertainment. William Hung is not an entertainer, nor do my people wish to be entertained by someone of his caliber....
...we demand a total cessation of William Hung's participation in the benefit concert. He will only be released when A) his family and/or agents send proof that he will no longer perform, B) said family/agents provide us with a Hung-holding fee of $500,000, and C) we have provided clippings of William Hung's hair, fingernails, and stool samples to show that we are serious..."
Deviants!
Roustabouts!
Who could commit such a selfless act of martyrdom? Aside from the fact that they really are doing the right thing, it's still a crime to Hungnap, but c'mon-
imagine a world free of further Hung involvement?
details to follow- the dragnet is drawing to a close-

Thursday, May 1, 2008

MISSING!


Friends, Romans, Countrymen,

William Hung is Missing!

Last seen at the The Hustler Magazine Social Music Ampitheater, rehearsing his (snicker) act of making annoying, vapid mouth sounds. Details are scant at the moment; all we have to go on is that William Hung did not show up for dinner with a lady friend at the Doodletown Denny's.

Search parties are forming- if you want to join in the search, bring one torch and/or pitchfork to Doodletown Town Hall. All information leading to the recovery of William Hung should be directed to his website: