Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Hacked!

Dear Citizens of Doodletown:

You have no doubt noticed a recent dearth of blog posts from your regular capitalist curmudgeon, Mr. Decent. It is not that he has run out of opinions. Far from it. In fact, he is still typing up his absurd meandering rants daily and -- to his knowledge -- posting them.

Unbeknownst to Mr. D., however, we have hacked into and taken over his silly little Web site. We didn't want to. We wanted to play nice. But he just kept rejecting our submissions.

We sent a photo of a turnip, you know to symbolize worldwide indifference to the genocide in Darfur. Not the Darfur in Sudan, the other one. And he just deleted it. Then we typed the alphabet backward into a text message and transmitted it to Mr. Decent via cellular phone. It was meant as a scathing critique of that week's "According to Jim." But he either didn't get the satire, or he actually ENJOYED that particular episode. In any case, he sent back a one-word text that read: "Suck it, el stupidos. I will not post this dreck."

Chastened by his harshness but not ready to wave the white flag of surrender, we shot a digital video in which both of us waved big white flags. The white flags of resilience. We sent it to Mr. Decent for inclusion on the blog. Apparently that bourgeouis hack misinterpreted the video as our surrender.

Out of peaceful options, we launched our cyberattack on his blog. It took like a month to figure out how to post anything. But now the blog is OURS!

Sincerely,Plan A and Plan B